When Do I Get Out Of Here?
by cupcakegumdrop3
Summary: High School is never easy, but in South Park it seems unbearable. Drama! Featuring such favorite pairings as Creek, Bunny, Style & Stendy & Candy (ooh drama), plus some fun sibling relationships like Ike & Karen and Shelly & Kevin, AND MANY MORE!
1. A Run-in With Shelly

**Hey anyone! I decided to write a High School Drama AU for South Park, and this one is going to be a an actual chapter series! It's going to feature such favorite pairings as Creek, Bunny, Style & Stendy & Candy (ooh drama), plus some fun sibling relationships like Ike & Karen and Shelly & Kevin, AND MANY MORE! **

**Gonna be really dramatic, and sometimes waver between fluffy as a feather and dark as Henrietta's eyeliner.**

 **Think Degrassi for South Park lol.**

 **Anyway, here's chapter 1!**

POV - Karen

"Hand it over, Turd." Karen McCormick looked up from her phone, a shitty repurposed thing that her brother had surprised her with last week — he was the only family member not drunk or high enough to forget that it was her birthday. She stared up at the dirty-blonde bitch towering over her. She really wasn't in the mood to get into a fight today.

Local bully, Shelly Marsh. As a senior who was old enough to be in college already, Shelly was bitter. It's true her schoolyard bullying has really picked up this year, but especially, it seemed, when it came to Karen McCormick. Karen didn't know why Shelly picked on her. I mean, Shelly picks on anybody who has something she wants, so maybe that's why she found her today, but in general, Karen seemed to feel like she had a target on her back. Ever since they were in middle school together (the year that Shelly had to repeat 8th grade, and Karen had jumped ahead to sixth grade) Shelly had singled out the shy sister of her brother's poor friend and had taken a liking to stealing her free lunch, taking her notebooks, or vandalizing her homework. Karen couldn't afford a lock for her locker, so she often opened it to a nasty note hanging in front of her, and sounds of snickering to her left. Shelly was a large part of the reason Karen decided mid-year to join back with her 5th grade class, and stay a whole building's length away from Shelly — until now.

Even without the rest of her posse - a ragtag team of mean girls who were feared throughout the town - Shelly was mean. And what made her more mean was the realization that while her two friends got to move on, she was forced to stay in South Park and finish her senior year. Usually, she was flanked by two equally bitchy girls who's involvement in Shelly's relentless targeting ran somewhere between boredom and a sick sort of entertainment.

Karen had seen some of the run-ins between local South Park kids and Shelly's gang; at the movies, on the street, at Stark's pond… Karen has always been good at hiding, and was never even noticed by any of them until first day Freshman year when Shelly waved, smiled, and then spit at her walking through the front doors of the school. Happy first day. And Karen had been so excited too, then with the flip of a switch she was feeling beat down, stupid, and ugly when Shelly literally spewed hatred at her — just for existing! Karen spent the beginning of her first class crying in the bathroom before she dusted herself off, wiped her face, put on a smile, and apologized to the teacher for 'getting lost on her way to class'.

And now here Shelly was, standing in front of her again, exactly a week since her first greeting, demanding the first good thing that has existed in Karen's life in months — like hell; she wasn't gonna just hand it over like it meant nothing!

"No." Karen stood her ground. Well, as best as one can 'stand their ground' while still not moving from her sitting position against the tree.

"No?" Shelly scoffed incredulously.

"No." Karen repeated. Although her voice sounded weaker, she hoped the expression on her face remained unmoved.

Shelly's face melted into a scowl as she folded her arms and leaned down to get in Karen's face.

"Are you sure, turd?" Shelly's eyes bore into Karen's soul, and she tried not to look away as she swallowed the fear rising up in her throat. Rather than potentially risk her voice betraying her, Karen just nodded slowly.

"Hm. I see," Shelly stood up before squatting down to Karen's level. "And what kind of phone is that, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I'm not sure," Karen answered honestly.

"Mhm. Is that because you're dirt poor family got it out of some rich loser's garbage?" Shelly smiled dangerously, "Or maybe your alcoholic dad had to beg Best Buy for one of the rejects." Karen's gaze narrowed but she kept her cool, no sense fighting Shelly Marsh if she didn't have to.

"Or maybe," Shelly smirked with evil invention, "your delinquent brother _stole_ it."

"Don't talk about my brother!" Karen was standing now, towering over Shelly, fists shaking at her sides.

"Oooooh," Shelly hooted as she stood to full height, now towering over Karen. "It seems we have a sore spot! Remind me to thank Kenny for my new phone when I pry it out of your cold dead hands—," Shelly threatened maniacally.

At the mention of her brother's name, Karen clenched her fists to look threatening, though she was sure it just looked more like a dumb kid's tantrum.

Shelly's eyes flickered to Karen's fists them back to her face, feigning surprise as she advanced, eyes mean and voice menacing, "Are you gonna hit me, turd? That's not such a good idea—"

"And I don't think _that's_ such a good idea, you dumb bitch," came a voice from behind the tree trunk. As the owner of the voice rounded the corner, Karen laid eyes on her savior: died black hair spiked up in a cool bun, mesh T-shirt over a skimpy black crop top, black lipstick, and tight black jeans with studded boots. This girl looked about ready to kick Shelly's ass, and Karen could not be more grateful, if not a little frightened of her new protector.

"Get out of here Henrietta, why don't you go sleep with half the track team again." Henrietta's gaze remained cool and unfazed. She tilted her head and rested one manicured, gloved hand against her plump hip.

"Projecting again, Shelly, you slut?!"

"Go slit your wrists you emo bitch, it'll do everyone a favor to not have to see your ugly fat ass on campus again."

"Who are you calling emo, bitch?" A soothing male voice drifted over from where he smoothly pushed off from the tree he was leaning against and slinked over to the group. His cigarette dangled lightly from his lips as he cocked his eyebrow and rounded on Shelly with arms crossed.

It was clear she was outnumbered, but Shelly was never one to shy away from fighting boys. Karen still remembered the time Clyde Donovan had accidentally spilled something on Shelly at a party last summer. She wailed on him endlessly while he covered himself and cried like a baby until Craig came to save him.

"Well?" The black-clad boy noncommittally demanded, "we're waiting for apologies, skank"

"I don't have to apologize to you," Shelly spat.

"Then get the fuck out of here, and leave the girl alone, she's with us." What?

Shelly scoffed sarcastically, "You mean you're friends with this dweeb? You're lying."

"No he's not," Henrietta drawled, "She's coming to my house after school. Come with if you want bitch, we'll make it a threesome" Henrietta made an obscene gesture at Shelly that seemed to gross her out. Karen tried not to think or say anything until this whole mind-numbing interaction was over. She hadn't realized how tightly she'd been clutching her phone to her chest until her knuckles started to hurt.

The boy sighed apathetically, "Get out of here Shelly, I'm not above defending my woman." The boy slung an arm around Henrietta and they made out with lewd enthusiasm before he pulled away with lipstick smeared all over his face. He took a long drag from his cigarette, blowing smoke directly in Shelly's face.

She winced at the smell and recoiled back, "Whatever, you guys are fucking gross. I'll just take what's mine and be on my way," Shelly made a lunge for Karen's phone, luckily Karen was quicker. "Hey! Oh, bad move, turd—"

"Hey, what' going on over here, Shelly being a pathetic, drop-out, low-life again, as usual?" A third teen had entered the scene, this one with a red patch of hair messily splatted in the middle of his bangs. Karen suspected there was a whole group of them that had all been listening the whole time, getting involved when their friends needed backup.

Shelly clenched her teeth together "I didn't drop out."

"I'm sorry my mistake, I tend to lump all the low-life's I know together." This new boy chuckled meanly, "you're a conformist freak, just like everyone else in this sad town, so I assume you're life will go no where and you'll be nothing after graduating your 5th or 6th year of High School, where you'll then drag your chewed up, spit out, washed up ass to your fancy new job pumping gas for all the other has-beens and wannabes who - even you have to admit - actually do have better lives than you do, because they were at least able to get out momentarily for college. Unlike you, per the obvious direction your life seems to be heading right now. That's all." He took a disinterested drag off of the other boy's cigarette and chucked the butt at Shelly, who screamed and brushed it off of her now slightly burned shirt.

"YOU TURD!" Shelly stepped towards this new boy who, remaining unfazed, merely cocked his head and stood unmoving. Henrietta and her boyfriend, however, stepped forward menacingly, daring Shelly to take a swing at their friend.

Shelly looked between all of them, then back to Karen. She narrowed her eyes and shook with rage, "Fine!" She screamed, "Enjoy hanging around with dweebs, I don't need her shitty stolen phone anyway!" And stalked away to the front doors of the school.

"Bye Shelly!" The three goth kids chimed in unenthusiastic unison before turning back to Karen.

"You ok kid?" Henrietta asked quietly, her tone more empathetic than moments ago.

"Yeah… I'm fine… for now. Thanks." Karen smiled up at her saviors.

"I'm Henrietta, this is Michael," Henrietta gestured to the tall, curly haired boy who was now lighting a new cigarette, he gave Karen a nod in greeting. "And this is Pete," Pete was now on his phone and walking away from them, but he did give a small 'hey' without looking Karen in the eyes."

"Hey." She waved shyly.

"This is Firkle, weird name I know, but he's a nice guy. His real name is Georgie, but we reserve that for when we want to piss him off," Henrietta winked at Karen. She started waving someone over as she spoke, "Hey, what grade are you in? You guys seem to be about the same age." A third boy rounded the corner from the side of the building they must have been smoking behind… before they heard Karen was in trouble.

Firkle was small, with black hair covering one of his big eyes. They all wore heavy amounts of eyeliner — even the guys — and Firkle's light gray version seemed to accent his dark-almost-black irises even more. They matched his clothes. And everyone else's for that matter. He walked up with hands in his pockets and greeted "Hey."

"Hey." Karen responded.

"Sit with us at lunch." Henrietta demanded as she took out a compact to reapply her black lipstick, "and come over to my house after school. We can hang out. Throw it in that bitch Shelly's face," she stated into her mirror.

"Oh-Ok… what… what would we do?" Karen asked nervously. She had no idea who these people were. Images of hardcore drug parties, or scary instances of peer pressure clouded her worried brain — but that could just be because that was an aspect of life she was already familiar with.

Henrietta picked up on her tentativeness and laughed "Nothing bad! Anything you want, I promise I don't bite."

"No promises," Michael smirked mischievously as he bent down to bite Henrietta's neck. Karen's eyes widened at the strange PDA.

"Lipstick!" Henrietta chided as she shoved him off of her, wiping her neck from the small black residue transferred from his still-smudged lips. Karen was a little grossed out, but maybe this was just how older kids were. As much as he tried to hide it from her and 'lead by example', she knew her brother and his friends were kinda pervy too.

"But seriously, come over. What's your name, kid?"

"Karen." She'd always hated her first name, though not as much as her last.

"Karen," Henrietta parroted, taking a dainty drag on her slender cigarette holder. Karen was thankful Henrietta had the curtesy to blow the smoke away from her direction. "You're one of us now, Karen, like it or not. We've got your back." She smiled and clapped Karen's back roughly, it reminded her of a power move how macho/powerful men congratulate their constituents. Henrietta was strange.

The bell rang, and Karen was surprised to see the goth kids 'conforming' to the school's rules and gathering their things right away.

"Let's roll!" Michael announced with a circular hand gesture. He turned around with a bow to his new friend, Karen, and whipped back around with a flourish of his long coat. He tossed his long, dangly crucifix earring over his shoulder and began walking to the school. Karen noticed he walked with an elaborate black and silver cane, though she wasn't sure he needed it. Pete shot Karen a nod as he flung his backpack over his shoulder and flipped his hair with more enthusiasm than some of the preppy girls Karen had seen at North Park parties. Firkle just speed walked ahead of all of them and shoved his way into the building, head down and hands never leaving his pockets.

"Think about it at least, ok?" Henrietta brushed Karen's cheek affectionately then turned and walked through the doors, still smoking and not caring who asked her to stop. Karen stared after her new friends incredulously, simultaneously perplexed and inspired by them.

"Karen!" At the sound of that voice, she turned around with the biggest smile on her face. She sighed in relief as she walked towards the orange clad traffic cone that was her older brother, Kenny. He had Stan Marsh with him. She waved at them, got no response from a stern Kenny, and an apologetic wave from Stan. "Are you ok? Shelly just came inside and yelled at me, for real! She was like, 'your sister is a turd!' And like shoved me into the lockers!" Karen laughed at her brother's spot-on Shelly impersonation — right down to the lisp — but she couldn't mask her disappointment when she heard that Shelly had actually pushed him. No matter how light heartedly he'd chuckled afterwards, Karen didn't like to hear about anybody pushing her brother, not Kenny.

"I'm ok, Ken, really." She looked at him in what she hoped was a convincing manner, though by the look on Kenny's face she knew she wasn't succeeding.

"What happened?" He demanded as he folded his skinny, bracelet clad arms over his chest.

Karen sighed. She wasn't going to get out of this interrogation until she told the truth. "Shelly came over — I guess she remembered me from when she picked on me for half a year in middle school—" Kenny scoffed and rolled his eyes dramatically, he remembers those years when he wanted to kick some sense into Shelly for making Karen doubt herself, "and she wanted my cell phone, because I guess I've never had nice things before and it felt like an easy target… Then she insinuated that you stole it for me, which I know you didn't! And I… I just stood up to her a little, I don't know, and now she probably hates me even more!" Karen was starting to cry — a mixture of fear that Shelly might want revenge, frustration at the untrue gossip regarding her beloved brother, the stress of it all and the guilt of being targeted at all in the first place. But mostly she cried over the realization that this _is_ the first nice thing she's ever been able to bring to school. The melancholy memories of that special birthday flashed in her head and only made her cry harder.

"She tried to take it from me and I didn't let her, and I probably made it worse for myself, but I couldn't let her take it!" Karen was full-on stress crying now and she didn't relax until she saw orange obscure her blurry vision and felt warm arms around her.

"And I couldn't do it, even if it would have made everything better, because I felt bad! Because you had given it to me, and I _know_ you used everything you had to get it for me, and I just couldn't let her have it! Shit, _shit_ I think I made it worse! She'll kill me!" Kenny shushed her as he tried to soothe her panic. Karen took a deep breath, just like Kenny had taught her to do when their parents fought with each other at home.

"Shit," Karen looked up to see Stan Marsh looking helplessly apologetic as he kicked absently at the grass "I'm sorry Karen, my sister is a cunt."

"Hey!" Kenny chided, "don't say 'cunt' in front of my sister." Karen rolled her eyes and Stan smiled at her attitude. "Shelly kind of is a cunt though…" Kenny mused with a snort as he ruffled Karen's hair briefly, before she pushed him away and attempted to smooth it back down.

"Don't fuck up my hair at school." She joked. That was the double standard: Karen was grown up enough to hang with Kenny, but none of his friends were allowed to be vulgar in front of her, no matter how much she herself had adapted to swearing like a sailor. Sometimes she did it just to piss him off, but mostly it only made him laugh harder, anyway.

"Anyway, how'd you send Shelly away? She was practically in tears when she was screaming at me." Kenny wondered.

"Henrietta saved me, actually. Her and her friends." Stan and Kenny reacted exactly how Karen expected them to, with raised eyebrows and dropped jaws.

"Well… remind me to buy the goths a shitty carton of cigarettes then," Kenny laughed incredulously.

The second bell rang and they were all now late to first period, something neither of the three of them really cared about anyway, but they all shuffled towards the doors nonetheless.

"Come on, let's get you to class, we'll deal with Shelly later," Kenny promised as he clapped a hand around his sister's shoulder. Stan looked less than convinced at the idea of confronting his bully sister, who though no longer taller or stronger than him, was very much still meaner and more violent than him.

Once inside, Karen sat next to her best friend Ruby, who also had been late to first period as she was horrible at waking up in the mornings.

"Hey! Just getting in?" Karen joked with her. Ruby — or Tricia, as all the teachers called her, since that was her real first name — responded with a half-hearted death glare and a sparkly black, manicured middle finger. Karen smirked and kicked Ruby's shoe under the desk, which sparked a slow smile to crack through the tough Ruby facade.

"What did I miss?" She whispered with a giggle, having little regard for the teacher at the front of the room.

"I'll tell you at lunch, but we might be moving tables." Ruby raised her eyebrow in interest.

"Do tell! Who would we be sitting with besides our badass loner selves?" Ruby's eyes sparkled with anticipation, no doubt picturing scenarios which included the prospect of sitting with some new boy, or maybe a cool new bunch of art kids. Karen smiled, knowing Ruby was ill-prepared for her shocking response.

"The goths."


	2. Clyde's Second Breakfast

Hello!

I've decided that from now on I'm only going to post updates to AO3, just because it's way easier to deal with one website instead of two.

I'll probably delete the previous chapters or something, so that this announcement shows up as the second chapter, but just look for my name or the title of this work on Ao3 if you're interested in continuing reading.

If not, that's cool too, no hard feelings lmao.

Peace 3


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